So in English class, we’ve been reading All Quiet in the Western Front. And the protagonist is this guy named Paul. And he’s lonely.

sleep

Honestly, when we first started this book, I didn’t like it. But now as we get into it more and more, I actually sort of relate to Paul. So Paul is a young man, eighteen or so, that volunteers to enter World War I along with his friends. And the thing about Paul is that he feels really alone, though he’s with all his brother/comrades he still feels alone, and even when he is on leave and went home to his family, because of the war, a traumatic event in his life, he doesn’t feel as though his house with his family is his true home anymore. The Front, with his brothers is his home now, even though it’s not exactly the best home. And yes, his friends have become his family, but his mind still isn’t at ease. And I can sort of relate.

Of course I definitely cannot relate to the whole traumatic war, but I can relate to the loneliness, and I’m sure others can too. It’s that feeling of knowing there are people that care and love you, yet you still feel so alone and as if you don’t have anybody even though you know in your head that you do. And it’s a really frustrating feeling to have, I got frustrated reading because through the book, you could see how much his mother loved him, and his comrades, people that were willing to die for him were there for him and he still felt like he didn’t have anybody.

How do you fix something like that? Because I know people have been able to overcome this funky loneliness phase, but it still amazes me. Trying to change the way you think is probably one of the hardest things to do in my opinion. How do you convince yourself that you’re not alone, even when you know that it’s true in your head but in the way that you feel? I know that sounds just way too ‘in the feels’ but I don’t know how else to state something like that. It’s just frustrating knowing that you have good people in your life, just as Paul has in his, but in your darkest moments you keep to yourself. You don’t turn to anybody. How do you fix loneliness?

– Questions of a very sleepy lindsay

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